Curiosity Clues

How to make YOUR life “easyer”

One night as I sat in my living room with my three youngest children, I began to whine and complain about how much I had to do and how I just really needed some help. My two girls gave me advice and consoled me (as girls usually do), which helped a bit, but it was the approach of my 11 year-old son that really made me look at things differently. First he asked me “How is it hard? Did you slip on a banana peel and hit your head?! Are you having a mid-life crisis?!” This got me laughing, which began to lighten my mood right away.

I told him that I was just so overwhelmed with everything I had to do, and if I only had some help, life would be so much easier. He listened to my story until I was done and then said “If you just tell me what you want, I can help you figure out how to make your life easier.”

The next thing I knew, he had dashed off and returned, pens and paper in hand, and started taking notes. First note read: “BIG problems. Gigi needs to focus.” Hmmmm. I could see we had some work to do.

Next we moved on to solutions. After some time scribbling with crayons, he presented me the second page. It read: “How to make Gigi’s life easyer” across the entire paper, with a beautiful colored background. And on the back (don’t ask me why) “Gigi is smart.” I could already tell we were making progress.

Something interesting struck me in all of this. When I was presented with the first page, my energy level stayed the same (low), as it only re-affirmed my gloomy point of view. “BIG problems.” That seemed about right. But when he showed me the second page, I had an immediate shift in my perspective. “How to make Gigi’s life easier.” Ahhhhh. I breathed in a sigh of relief.

I realized that this simple difference is the first critical step in making your life “easyer.” When you focus on what works: how to make your life easier, instead of what’s not working: BIG problems, your whole perspective changes and you can begin to see solutions instead of problems.

Before I wrote this “clue” I sat McLaren (my son) down again and asked him to tell me a little bit more about his ideas. How would someone go about making their life easier, step by step? Here is what he said (with a few of my own thoughts and observations as well). Tips to make your life easier:

Eliminate the things you don’t want to be doing. Sure, we all have responsibilities and things we have to do, but stop trying to be everything to everyone. You’d be surprised at how much of what you are feeling pressured about is actually unnecessary!

Look at your gargantuan “to do” list and rate every item on it from 1 to 5. Five means you absolutely have to do it. One means it’s really not that important. Now cross off everything that’s marked 1 or 2 (and maybe even a few 3’s as well!), or put them on a list for later. Look at your list again. Life’s feeling easier already, isn’t it?
“Do more fun stuff.” In other words, take time for yourself. Everyone’s life would feel a lot easier and more balanced if they just took a little bit of time every day or even once a week to do something they enjoy. You may say you have too much to do, or too many commitments to other people, but the truth is that doing something for yourself will inspire you, which will make everything else in your life a lot easier and more enjoyable.

Make a list of at least 10 things that you think are fun, or enjoy doing. Even if they don’t seem practical, put them on there. This is about what lights YOU up and brings you joy, so don’t hold back! Then schedule them in. If you love to take walks, put them on your calendar like you would any other appointment (even if it’s only once a week at first!). If your list includes that trip to South America that you’ve always wanted to take, start small: attend salsa classes and listen to Spanish tapes while you do your paperwork! The more you incorporate what you want into your life, the less daunting (and more enjoyable) everything else will seem.
“Schedule your life more.” In McLaren’s words, “Life is better when it’s on a schedule.” A “to do” list is a good start (or 29 of them, if that happens to be your current state of organization), but try taking it a step farther and scheduling your days, weeks, and even months! Start with an overview: “What do I want to accomplish over the next six months?” “What are the major events coming up in my life, my kid’s lives, etc.?” Then move to an overview of the next few weeks (slightly more detailed than the six-month overview), and on down to the next few days.

Buy a large calendar and some pencils. Now write in all of your appointments, events, and commitments. This includes (for example) the kid’s horseback riding lessons, your company luncheon, and of course the not-to-be-missed air guitar championships. Then, as you clarify and simplify your goals and “to dos,” write them on your calendar in pencil (plans change) as well. Be realistic, and know that much of this will change. There is always room for revision (changes make life more exciting after all). But seeing all of your goals, commitments, and plans laid out clearly and in one place will get you started and (hopefully) cause you to breathe a sigh of relief. Just don’t forget to schedule in your “me” time!

If you implement these three steps in your life, you will be amazed at how much easier everything becomes. By eliminating unnecessary “to dos,” taking time for yourself, organizing your life around your enjoyment, and using a simple and balanced scheduling system, you will lower your stress levels dramatically and begin to have fun with your enjoy life again!

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